Don't Panic! by Andy Moore

As a cartoonist, (which is a word I frequently use instead of "crazy person") I've been filling out brackets since middle school based on the absurdity and weirdness factors of the mascots for each team in March Madness. As a Wichita State University grad, this a good formula for Shocker success in the tournament. (Case in point- WSU won its first round game, and will be playing second round in the CBI on Monday 3- against Stanford, who has an unofficial mascot- the Tree! What a match-up!) I will be posting my 2009 Mascot Madness list here and will be drawing some of the most fun mascot-based results in the tourney.

East Regional
No. 1 Pittsburgh: Roc the Panther vs. No. 16 East Tennessee State: Bucky the Pirate and Pepper the Parrot
It's over before it started. Two crazy pirate themed mascots. Flawless Victory!
No. 8 Oklahoma State: Pistol Pete vs. No. 9 Tennessee: Smokey
I may just be a huge nerd, but any time I see Pistol Pete, I think of the villain "false face" from the 1966 batman tv show. Pow! Zowie! But, then again- Tennessee's Smokey is not really dedicated to stopping forest fires- we saw that firsthand in 2006.
No. 5 FSU: Chief Osceola vs. No. 12 Wisconsin: Bucky Badger
Bucky. Gets. Hunted. Teeth versus spear. But he does have such snappy pants...
No. 4 Xavier: D’Artagnan vs. No. 13 Portland State: Victor E. Viking
A comic battle of funky facial hairs and wacky whiskers. I think the Viking has an anarchy-based advantage and will pillage.
No. 6 UCLA: Joe Bruin vs. No. 11 VCU: Rodney the Ram
Bruin. All the way.
No. 3 Villanova: Will D. Cat vs. No. 14 American: Clawed, the Eagle
Another cat suit against a mascot that reminds me of a Bruce Lee movie title
No. 7 Texas: Hook ‘em vs. No. 10 Minnesota: Goldy Gopher
A foam cow or a foam squirrel-gopher. Goldy wins by virtue of the teeth.
No. 2 Duke: Blue Devil vs. No. 15 Binghamton: Baxter the Bearcat
While looking unmistakably like "Pitch" from MST3K's "Santa Claus" the blue devil wins easily..
South Regional:
No. 1 UNC: Rameses vs. No. 16 Radford: The Highlander
There can be only one, and It's a cartoon bighorn.
No. 8 LSU: Mike the Tiger vs. No. 9 Butler: Butler Blue II
The tiger. A real one. Love it, especially against a real dog.
No. 5 Illinois vs No. 12 Western Kentucky: Big Red
Chief Illinowek has been sidelined by the NCAA, so Big Red, our lovable muppet friend wins by default!
No. 4 Gonzaga: Spike the Bulldog vs. No. 13 Akron: Zippy
A kangaroo! A kangaroo! Again, a kangaroo!
No. 6 Arizona State: Sparky the Sun Devil vs. No. 11 Temple: The Owl
Sparky looks like a weird Zorro-inspired demon pole vaulter in a track and field competition. And he wins.
No. 3 Syracuse: Otto the Orange vs. No. 14 Stephen F. Austin: The Lumberjack
Otto! Doesn't he moonlight as the logo for the NCAA football BCS game?
No. 7 Clemson: The Tiger vs. No. 10 Michigan: wolverines
Michigan has only helmets, but they look cool. A first round Bye for Clemson.
No. 2 Oklahoma: Sooner Schooner vs. No. 15 Morgan State: The Morgan State Bear
I imagine a Yogi bear versus the vehicular emblem of the Wichita River Festival battle. That's Obtuse, for sure. So the bear gets it.

Second half soon:

Midwest Regional
No. 1 Louisville: vs. No. 16 Morehead State
No. 8 Ohio State: Brutus vs. No. 9 Siena
No. 5 Utah: vs. No. 12 Arizona
No. 4 Wake Forest: The Deamon Deacon vs. No. 13: Cleveland State Vikings
No. 6 West Virginia: Mountaineer vs. No. 11 Dayton:
No. 3 Kansas: Jayhawks (Big Jay) vs. No. 14 North Dakota State: Viking
No. 7 Boston College: vs. No. 10 USC: Trojans
No. 2 Michigan State: Sparty vs. No. 15 Robert Morris:
West Regional
No. 1 UConn: vs. No. 16 Chattanooga:
No. 8 BYU: vs. No. 9 Texas A&M:
No. 5 Purdue: Pete vs. No. 12 Northern Iowa:
No. 4 Washington: vs. No. 13 Missisippi State:
No. 6 Marquette: vs. No. 11 Utah State:
No. 3 Missouri: vs. No. 14 Cornell:
No. 7 Cal: vs. No. 10 Maryland:
No. 2 Memphis: vs. No. 15 CS Northridge: